Damn, It Fees Good to be a Gangster

April 2010: Depending on what island you're on, the bearded hairy man in the sky makes the tortoise shells in the Galapagos a different shape. So, the ones that evolved on the islands with taller plants have a shell shape that allows them to reach higher. They mentioned it in the bible, but got the dreaded old "PC Load Letter" error when printing that chapter so we only have the version we know of today that doesn't mention all these pesky details about life and science. Stupid printers. After that everyone at the last supper took the printer out into a field and beat the holy shit out of it. I'm pretty sure they made a movie about it.