Eat Your Vegetables

Just as Jesus is like Santa Claus for adults, so are taxes like parents for these people who think they know best for themselves just because 18 years have gone by. Taxes, however, are real and good for you, not superstitions like the two aforementioned characters. Although you don't realize or admit it until you're older, generally your parents and older people have the best advice for you on what paths to take in life. Most of the time, you still learn the hard way and waste a ton of time in the process. As kids, we don't like parents, but eventually you realize what they were trying to do for you. Same goes for taxes. Grown ups hate taxes, but the good that they're doing is far overshadowed by our own ego thinking we know what's best for ourselves. "The gub'ment shouldn't dictate to me how to live my life, I don't agree with how it's spent, etc." Think of the gub'ment and taxes as your "later in life parents." Sure, they're human and they're wrong sometimes, but generally, as much as you don't want to admit, taxes are a good thing. From sketchy companies that try to tell you to eat a pill for a tighter ass to informing you about how veggies are better than the drive through, there are a million ways that taxes increase your quality of life. Pay your taxes, fuckers. Ours in the US are some of the lowest in the world.