Tax Day Public Service Announcement

Dear America:
You don't know how to eat right. You aren't disciplined enough to live within your means. You have to be forced to save for your lazy ass retirement. You need gub'ment incentive to recycle. And among many other things, you don't understand that you shouldn't drink and operate a motor vehicle. You can't even dress yourself. You are a child. And you think taxes should be lower? Wow. Happy tax day. Pay up, bitches. It's good for you whether you admit it or not. The gub'ment doesn't do a perfect job with our tax money, especially with skateboard facilities, but overall they certainly are doing much better than you. I love you anyway, America. Thank you.